Unmasking the Social Engineer: The Human Element of Security (2014)

Part II. Decoding the Language of the Body

Chapter 3. Understanding the Language of the Hands

As the tongue speaks to the ear, the gesture speaks to the eye.

—King James I

Humans are unique in how extensively and variably they communicate with their hands. Our hands are marvelous creations that can accomplish many things. Think back to when you were young and standing next to your parents and something scared you. You reached for their hands to receive comfort and protection.

Even before that time, your hands were the means through which you explored the world around you. As you got older, you learned how to use your hands to perform basic skills such as feeding and dressing yourself, to more advanced skills such as painting, sculpting, cooking, and manipulating tools. A surgeon spends hundreds of hours training his or her hands to react in tiny movements to save lives. A musician learns finger placement, keystrokes, and more. In his 1980 book Hands, John Napier made an interesting point. He said that we explore the world around us using our eyes and hands, but only one of these permits us to see around corners and in the dark. He also stated that humans are the only creatures to communicate meaningfully with their hands. Regardless of how skilled a speaker you become, you will still use your hands to augment your speech.

This is my focus for this chapter: how our hands communicate not only language but also emotions to those we interact with. Napier went on to say that the hands mirror the brain, because what the brain feels is shown not only in the face but also in the hands.

There is a direct connection between the emotions we feel and how our hands move. In 1973 Dr. Paul Ekman and Dr. Wallace Friesen conducted research that solidified this thought. In a paper they produced called “Hand Movements,” they broke down the different ways in which emotions are shown with the hands. Using their research, along with research that came in its wake, I will show you how important it is to understand, watch, and decipher these important signals.

Communicating with Your Hands

This section does not discuss sign language—probably the first thing that springs to mind when you think of communicating with your hands. Although it is fascinating to read the studies that link the brain and that form of communication, my focus is to understand how people leak emotional content using their hands.

Suppose you walk into your living room and see cookie crumbs on the floor. You always tell your son not to eat cookies before dinner, but there is the evidence on the floor and on his face. You do the typical parent thing and ask, “Where did all these crumbs come from?” As your son decides whether to lie, try to picture what his hands are doing.

Or maybe remember the time you had to get in front of your high school class to read a paper or poem you wrote. When your name was called, you walked to the front of the room. As your shaking hands held the paper, your classmates looked either amused at your pain or ready to mock you after class. What were your hands doing?

Think back to a time when you were about to interview for a job. You pumped yourself up to be confident; you knew you were qualified for this job, and you needed it. You went in calm and ready for every question. You answered each question with confidence. Then the interviewer asked if you had experience in something you'd never heard of. You needed to decide whether to make up an answer or admit you had no knowledge of the topic. What were your hands doing?

Finally, think back to videos you have seen of police interviews. The suspect sits there with a smug look on his face. Maybe his hands tap the table as he waits impatiently. The officer starts the interview with a leading question: “When you were at the Lazy Tree Bar on June the first, did you see Rico there with his girlfriend?”

“No!” the suspect exclaims. “I told you already I didn't see him there that night!” as he slams a closed fist on the table.

“Oh, so you were at that bar, then. I thought you said earlier you weren't even there that night.” the detective says, shrugging his shoulders and pointing at the suspect with one finger.

As the look of “Uh oh” comes over his face, what are his hands doing?

In each of these scenarios, an emblem, gesture, illustrator, or manipulator was displayed. In the final interrogation scene, you might have pictured the suspect rubbing his hands together in stress, or playing with a ring or piece of clothing. What is the difference among these, and what emotions do they reveal?

In the Ekman and Wallace study mentioned previously, the researchers discussed how we display emotion in our hands by using emblems, gestures, illustrators, and manipulators. Each of these can be used to determine the emotional state and the true message that is being sent.

Learning to discern, decipher, and use this form of nonverbal communication is essential to discuss in the context of normal communications and also as a social engineer. In this study, Dr. Ekman referenced a work from Dr. David Efron, who, in 1941, conducted a fascinating and still widely used study, entitled “Gestures and Environment,” on nonverbal communication. Studying two groups of people who immigrated to New York from different countries, he found that there was a definite cultural influence to emblems and body language that was learned from the culture and passed down.

Using Efron's research, Ekman and Wallace developed a system of understanding this form of body language. They broke the system into three parts: origin, coding, and usage.

Origin

The origin of a nonverbal behavior is how the behavior became a part of someone's communication style. Ekman and Wallace divided the origin into three different categories: those that are built into the nervous system; survival instincts; and those that vary with culture, class, family, or the individual.

Understanding the origin of a nonverbal behavior means we will judge or view nonverbal hand emblems based not on our own experiences or origin, but on the person's origin.

Coding

Coding is the relationship between the act and its meaning. Whether the emblem looks like the act can determine the type of coding involved.

Dr. Ekman explains that an arbitrarily coded emblem has no visual resemblance to its significance. As an example, one of the most widely used hand gestures, known commonly as “flipping someone the bird,” does not physically or physiologically represent either a bird or the act that gesture stands for, does it?

On the other hand, an iconically coded emblem carries a clue to its decoding in its appearance. In other words, it looks like what is being said. For example, making the shape of a pistol with your thumb and forefinger. That emblem looks like a pistol and is clearly understood.

Finally, an intrinsically coded emblem is similar to an iconically coded emblem. It looks like the act being signified, but instead of just resembling the emblem, it acts out the coding. For example, I am from a demonstrative family. It's not uncommon, when we joke around, for us to make a fist and lightly hit each other. An intrinsically coded emblem is not just a clenched fist but the act of actually hitting another person in jest.

Usage

Usage is just like it sounds: When is the nonverbal hand movement used? The external conditions found when the act is used, the supporting verbal behavior, what information is being relayed, and whether it is interactive or communicative all play a part in determining the usage.

Combining the origin, coding, and usage helped Ekman and Wallace create different aspects of nonverbal communication with the hands. Understanding each can help us see what someone is trying to say or what emotion is being portrayed.

The following sections discuss three aspects of this nonverbal communication of the hands: emblems, gestures/illustrators, and manipulators.

Emblems

As I mentioned in the first chapter, Dr. Ekman defines an emblem as a nonverbal communication of the hands that has five aspects:

· A direct verbal translation consisting of a short phrase or a word or two

· A precise meaning that is known by a group, class, or subculture

· Most often deliberately used with the conscious intent to send another person a particular message

· The receiver knows that the emblem was sent to him or her deliberately.

· The sender takes responsibility for having made the communication.

Just as people are aware of the words they speak, most are aware of the emblems they use. In addition, just like we have slips of the tongue, “emblem slips” can occur, but for the most part the sender is very aware of the emblems being used.

Understanding the origin can help the social engineer understand the emotional state of what the person is saying or not saying based on understanding emblems.

This can sometimes have serious implications. What you see in Figure 3-1 is often thought of as “I love you,” but in certain areas it could be interpreted as a sign for a gang called the Latin Kings. You would want to be cautious with using this gesture in certain areas.

Figure 3-1 “I love you” or a gang sign?

The next figures show a few more examples to prove the point.

In the U.S. the hand emblem shown in Figure 3-2 says, “Stop what you're doing!” If used by an authority figure, it is a commanding emblem that says to cease and stay put until further notice. Yet in Malaysia this hand sign summons a waiter.

Figure 3-2 “Come here” or “Go away”?

In the U.S. the sign shown in Figure 3-3 says, “Come here.” In Japan it is considered rude to use this sign. In Singapore it represents death.

Figure 3-3 “Come here” or seduction or death?

The emblem shown in Figure 3-4 stands for “Good luck”—unless you are Italian or Turkish. To them it represents the female genitalia. In Asia it is also considered a very obscene gesture.

Figure 3-4 “Good luck” or an obscene gesture?

These are just a few of the dozens of emblems. Each has a direct verbal translation, is precise in what that translation is, and is often deliberately used. The receiver knows the message is for him or her, and the sender meant to send it. That by definition is an emblem.

In each of these examples, understanding not only the emblem but also the origin can alter our understanding of the person's emotional state. In addition, we can alter the person's emotional state, either intentionally or by mistake, by using emblems that are unique to his or her origin.

Although emblems can be displayed in many places on the body, they generally involve the hands primarily, and then the head, face, and posture.

Illustrators

In “Hand Movements,” Dr. Ekman stated that “Illustrators are those acts which are intimately related on a moment-to-moment basis with speech, with phrasing, content, voice contours, loudness, etc.” In other words, illustrators are gestures that augment what is being said. They are somewhat similar to emblems because they are used with awareness and intent, although illustrators usually are used peripherally.

Here are some of the factors that make illustrators different from emblems:

· They usually do not have a precise verbal definition.

· They usually never occur without conversation.

· They are shown only by the speaker, not the listener.

Illustrators can change based on the mood, problems, or attitude of the person using them. They are generally used more when a person is feeling awkward in speech or thought.

Sudden changes in the type or frequency of illustrators can often hint at deception or a significant change in baselines, telling the social engineer to pay better attention to the person.

Illustrators are broken into eight categories or types:

· Batons are movements that emphasize a particular word or phrase.

· Ideographs are movements that sketch the path of a thought.

· Deictic movements point to an object, place, or event.

· Rhythmic movements depict the pacing of the event.

· Spatial movements depict a spatial relationship.

· Kinetographs are movements that depict a bodily action or a nonhuman physical action.

· Pictographs are movements that draw a picture in the air of the shape being referred to.

· Emblematic movements are used to illustrate a statement, even replacing a word or phrase.

Illustrators are interesting to watch for and can help the social engineer determine a baseline and figure out how the person thinks and reacts to emotional triggers.

In his book Telling Lies, Dr. Ekman relates a very interesting fact with regard to illustrators: “Illustrators increase with involvement with what is being said. People tend to illustrate more than usual when they are furious, horrified, very agitated, distressed, or excitedly enthused” (106).

He subsequently explains and gives a few reasons why people may stop illustrating. Emotional investment, boredom, and feigning concern can all be reasons why someone would stop using illustrators. In addition, Dr. Ekman states that those who would employ deceit, if not skilled or practiced at their lie, may stop using illustrators because they are cognating what to say and not how to describe it properly.

All of these signs point to the skilled social engineer watching for their subject's baselines and any alterations to that baseline during the conversation.

Manipulators

A manipulator is defined as any movement that involves a manipulation or grooming of a body part or article of clothing. Generally it is caused by nervousness, discomfort, habit, or a need to relax. One important point I need to bring up is that just because you notice a person is utilizing manipulators, do not automatically assume this proves deception.

Instead, looking for manipulators is a good way to notice a change in someone's baseline. You should ask yourself how they acted before the conversation got to this emotional level. Noticing their baseline can help the social engineer see indications (again, not deception) of changes to the emotions of that person.

Examples of manipulators are people who play with their hair, hands, or rings. Or maybe they are always adjusting their cuffs, buttons, or other clothing. These indicators can be used to determine if the person is either comforting himself or if he is nervous.

Figures 3-5 through 3-7 show examples of common manipulators you may notice.

Figure 3-5 Hand wringing is a common manipulator.

Figure 3-6 Another one is playing with some form of jewelry.

Figure 3-7 Another example of a nervous gesture

When someone is nervous or unsure, they may wring their hands. Let's say that Ben's baseline was hand steepling, discussed later this chapter, showing confidence. Then I started to question him on his whereabouts the other night, and he starts to do what you see in Figure 3-5. That change in the baseline can indicate that something about that question or the thoughts the question brought up made him nervous.

A good social engineer will decide if this is an area to explore more or to leave alone, all depending on the desired emotional level.

Another nervous hand gesture to watch for is if someone starts to play with their jewelry or even buttons and other articles of clothing. Sometimes people play with clothing or jewelry as a pacifier. Maybe the person that gave them that item is a close friend or family member and when they feel uncomfortable they begin to manipulate this article of clothing and it makes them feel less nervous. Again, a great manipulator to watch for during a conversation.

In Figure 3-7, notice another such set of manipulators. If Selena were standing with her arms at her side as a baseline then during the conversation you see her fold her one arm under her breasts and across her stomach while starting to play with her jewelry, this is a good indication of an emotional change. The arm placement may indicate discomfort and the jewelry playing mixed with her facial expression can tell us she is contemplating something, and it isn't truly comfortable for her.

In Telling Lies, Dr. Ekman discusses these important parts of nonverbal language: “Manipulators are on the edge of consciousness” (110). This means that even though a person knows what he is doing, he is reacting to a subconscious trigger to begin the manipulation. This is where watching for the baseline and any changes to the baseline can make a huge difference in understanding changes to emotional content during a conversation.

Noticing these signs can give the social engineer a leg up in engagements. It also can help determine if your actions or line of questions are causing the person discomfort.

High-Confidence Hand Displays

As I mentioned, the hands are amazing tools and amazing communicators. They also can indicate when a person is feeling confident. Knowing this is powerful for the social engineer. People enjoy being told good things about themselves, appealing to their egos. A confident person can be influenced using proper ego appeals, which can build rapport fast. The person wants to maintain that feeling at all costs—even giving up valuable information.

The next section goes through a few hand displays that can indicate the person is feeling confident about his or her position. Once you learn to see these quickly and clearly, you will be able to adjust your approaches and opening lines to match the communication style of your subjects. This will allow you to communicate with them in the way they want to be communicated with.

The Steeple

This hand movement occurs when the person creates a steeple with his finger. This can be done with one finger (usually the pointer) on both hands or with the whole hand, as shown in Figures 3-8 and 3-9.

Figure 3-8 The one-finger steeple

Figure 3-9 The whole-hand steeple

In Figure 3-9, not only is Ben steepling but he is also looking pretty confident, which is when you normally see people steepling.

Figure 3-10 shows Jordan Harbinger. Through his company, The Art of Charm, Jordan teaches men to have more confidence and to accomplish certain goals. His stance in Figure 3-10 says, “I am confident, I am powerful, and you should listen to me.”

Figure 3-10 What image does he want to portray?

Not only does Jordan have a high-confidence steeple going on here, but his leaning forward posture says he is ready to take charge, and his head tilt says he is trusting. The lean-in is important to notice. If done too aggressively it can show anger or impatience, but a slight lean in can show some increased interest and even help elicitation more. Jordan nailed it here and his slight lean-in, steeple, and head tilt all show interest and confidence at the same time. There is a lot in this photo that commands the respect Jordan is trying to sell here.

In some cases, steepling is used as a territorial display, basically saying, “I am confident in what I am saying despite your challenge.” Notice in Figure 3-11 how master weatherman Bernie Rayno displays this hand movement during one particularly pressing interview.

Figure 3-11 Bernie Rayno saying he knows what he's talking about

What was particularly interesting about this interview was that the more Rayno was pressed into a corner and challenged, the higher he displayed his steeple. Bernie was being interviewed about potential damaging radiation hitting America from the damage related to the tsunami in Japan. His interviewer was pressing him into a corner and being very aggressive. The more aggressive she got, the higher his steeple was. At one point he was steepling as high as eye level, as seen in Figure 3-12. Often when territory is being threatened or when confidence is great, we can see steeples going higher and higher until the hands are behind the head with the arms out, as shown in Figure 3-13.

Figure 3-12 The more aggressive his interviewer became the higher was his steeple.

Figure 3-13 A high confidence territorial display

Eventually the territorial display will be high enough that it will take on the form of what you see in Figure 3-13.

Imagine that Ben is feeling very confident about an answer he just gave to a pressing question. His confidence during his answer might have been joined with a steeple; after his answer you might see that steeple end in what is shown in Figure 3-13. Ben is not only feeling confident here, but he is sure enough to let everyone else around him know that too. This display can be followed by a very confident reflective look as the person focuses on their own thoughts.

Thumb Displays

Thumbs are often displayed when a person feels important, confident, sure of themself or wants everyone around him or her to feel reassured. Sometimes thumbs are shown when someone is feeling confident or wants to display high confidence. We can see examples of this in photos taken of businesspeople, leaders, or other important people, as shown in Figure 3-14.

Figure 3-14 Using the thumbs in this manner can suggest high confidence or that what a person is saying is important.

Ventral Displays

The anatomical term ventral refers to the parts of the body oriented toward the abdomen—for instance, the insides of the arms and legs. Exposing these ventral areas in an open fashion indicates that you are trustworthy and easy to deal with.

The hands can command, demand, or openly invite. In reviewing pictures of past leaders in the U.S., I found that former President Bill Clinton used open-hand displays. As shown in Figure 3-15, open-hand displays invite the person to become part of your tribe and to feel comfortable with what you are proposing. When mixed with other powerful nonverbals such as head tilts and smiles (which are discussed later in this book), they are a force to be reckoned with.

Figure 3-15 “Please come with me.”

The opposite of an open ventral display, as shown in Figure 3-16, is the closed-hand display, which is demanding and not open at all.

Figure 3-16 “You will do what I say.”

We generally see this display when someone is commanding others, or telling them what to do—often when people are being scolded—and, in general, other body language that accompanies this type of display is tight and more aggressive.

Other open displays are things like wearing shirts with the cuffs rolled up, or women with their hands on their hips. These are similar in saying, “I am open to you, so open up to me.” If you want to build trust and rapport with people fast, this nonverbal is one to practice.

Genital Framing

The last high-confidence hand display we will discuss is called genital framing. In essence this nonverbal states, “I am a virile young man. Look, here's proof.” The person hooks his thumbs into his belt loops or pockets, and his fingers “frame” or point to his genitals. Figure 3-17 shows the normal stance that accompanies this nonverbal.

Figure 3-17 “Look at me; I'm a strong man.”

This nonverbal shows confidence and is a display of dominance. You might not believe this display is still used outside of old Westerns or Happy Days reruns. But now that you know about it, you will notice it more than you thought.

Low-Confidence and Stress Hand Displays

Just as the hands can tell you if your subject is feeling good, happy, or positive, they also can tell you if your subject is feeling low or stressed. The following sections cover a few of the many tells that you may notice in people that give you a clearer picture of their emotional state.

Hand Wringing or Rubbing

When someone is nervous or uncomfortable, she may clasp her hands tightly, creating a “white knuckle effect,” as shown in Figure 3-5. Other times she may wring her hands or rub them together. You can also observe discomfort from manipulation of rings or other jewelry (refer back to Figures 3-5 through 3-7). Other signs can be constant knuckle cracking or using the hands to scratch, rub, or manipulate clothing or other parts of the body. All these signs point to a negative emotional state in the person.

Thumb Displays

Just as a thumbs up means all is good, a thumbs-down display means all is bad, as shown in Figure 3-18. In addition, whereas high thumbs can indicate confidence, low thumbs or hidden thumbs can indicate a lack of confidence and comfort. Notice in Figure 3-19 how the hands might appear to be steepling (a high-confidence movement), but hidden thumbs indicate something totally different.

Figure 3-18 Thumbs down for this performance

Figure 3-19 Hidden thumbs can point to low confidence.

Although Figure 3-19 is a steeple, it is a very low confidence steeple because the thumbs are hidden.

Closed for Confidence

As stated previously, the hands indicate a lot about the person's emotional state. Whereas high hand signs all point to high confidence, take special notice if the person's hands display closed nonverbal signals.

Maybe the person is standing with his hands behind his back or in his pockets, as shown in Figure 3-20. Watch for other indicators, and see if this display can point to a lack of confidence.

Figure 3-20 Hiding hands can indicate low confidence.

Although Ben has a confident stance here, hiding his hands can indicate he might not be feeling as strong as he is trying to portray.

Some other key hand movements to watch for are involved in the way someone may point at another person. Pointing in a quick jabbing motion can indicate impatience, emphasis, or even anger. Whereas pointing with the palm up and the fingers extended can build rapport and reinforce positive feelings in the person you are talking to.

Getting a Handle on the Hands

As you can probably tell, this is a huge amount of information to process, so how can you possibly master it and use it? Practice makes perfect. Maybe more accurately, someone I know in SEAL Team Six will say, “Perfect practice makes perfect.” We don't want to practice the wrong things and reinforce bad habits. The more you observe, the more you educate yourself on the meanings of these cues, and the more you practice perfectly, the easier it will become to pick up on these little cues.

The next step, once you train yourself to notice these signs, is to teach yourself how to use them. If you walked into an office and you saw the scene shown in Figure 3-21, what would you assume? Take a minute to study the picture.

Figure 3-21 What do you see here?

Did you notice that Ben is trying to assert his dominance? What do Selena's hands indicate?

She doesn't look too comfortable with his approach, does she? If you saw this scene and, as a social engineer, you wanted to win Selena's rapport and trust quickly, what action would you take?

You don't want to alienate Ben, but you want to show that you see Selena's discomfort and are there to help, without making her more uncomfortable.

By disengaging the man in his genital framing and engaging them both in positive dialog, you can accomplish your goal. Use high-confidence but non-territorial hand displays, such as open-hand displays and high-thumb displays.

If you were to come in and start to frame around Selena or act territorial you would basically start a territory war with Ben. This builds rather than reduces tension. By utilizing high-confidence displays that are open and nonaggressive, you can diffuse the situation and win rapport and trust from both parties.

Using this type of information in your approach can mean the difference between success or failure during your engagements.

Summary

As I mentioned above, there is a lot of information in these pages. It can be hard to try and master it all at one time. My suggestion is to not go into any engagement looking for hand, arm, thumb, and genital framing displays. Take some time to notice this in “the wild,” as I say. Go to a mall and watch two people talking in the distance; hit a pub and watch a guy trying to pick up a girl, then a guy getting rejected. You will be amazed at what you see.

Also you can watch the news, interviews or talk shows to see a lot of this in action too.

Remember, your goal is not to pick up on every little movement and try to decipher exactly what is being said, but rather to look for changes in these baselines and decipher the emotional changes during your interactions. Notice if someone appears to be confident, then adjust your approach to be fitting. Notice if the person seems to be timid and shy, then adjust your approach to be more mild and quiet.

Learn to adapt your approaches and your nonverbal hand displays to fit with the “tribe” you are trying to get in with. Doing this will enhance your ability as a social engineer and make you an amazing communicator.

All of this and we have only touched on the hands! In the next chapter we start to move down the body to discuss the torso, legs, and feet.